Everything is Going to Kill Everybody

Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly REAL Ways the World Wants You Dead is sold at these fine retailers. Buy it now, because THEY don’t want you to have it! But it’s YOUR money and you’re not gonna let THE MAN tell you what you can’t buy, are you?!

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Borders

Indiebound

Powell’s

A piece I wrote about the book up now on the Huffington Post.

The last of the daily book linkwhoring posts! Now the whoring will come at intermittent times, and only when something is actually going on that’s worth whoring about. Thank God I can go back to my normal life of sloth and debauchery and slothbauchery.

Here’s the final Powell’s guest blog on immortality, where we at last hit the big one: The complete cessation of the aging process. Here’s the final excerpt on Suvudu, about carnivorous robots that will eat us long before we get to the immortality stuff. And here’s a chat replay of the Q & A/winner announcement we did there today, if you’re a dangerous stalker and seriously want to watch me chat with strangers like a creepy voyeur in the bushes outside my window.

Shit, maybe I’m just bi-polar. The pendulum swings with every number that raises or lowers or simply stays the same for too long. At this point I think I’m more mathematician than author.

But enough dangerously unstable mood shifts – to the updates:

Day four of the Powell’s guest blog on Immortality is up here, and the new Suvudu excerpt regarding the Earth and how it “can’t stop hitting itself,” and this is the last day to enter their contest to win free copies and steal money right from my dang pocket!

Or perhaps it’s simply the lack of sleep and anxiety-driven heart attack swarms. But regardless of my whether or not my existence continues, there are still book updates! You can read the new Powell’s blog on immortality, partake of the new excerpt at Suvudu, and then, if you decide you like the book enough to get it but not pay for it, you can enter their contest right here and then burn in hell you cheap bastard.

Everything is Going to Kill Everybody is finally on sale! It’s out!

I was starting to think this day would never come. I’m not sure if I’m more relieved, anxious, or just drunk. Probably all three.

If you haven’t bought your copy, you can still enter the contest on Suvudu for a free one the rest of this week, or read the new excerpt posted there if you’re still on the fence. Or you can try your hand at the Cracked Twitter Giveaway today only starting at around 12:30PST. There’s also a new article of mine up on Cracked, regarding mad science, vagina beams and suicidal robots. Finally, there’s a new guest blog on the subject of immortality over at Powell’s.

Whoring is hard work, y’all.

The first day of my week of guest blogs is up over at Powell’s. This is just the intro, but the rest of the week will be all about immortality. Powell’s is our big local bookstore, and easily one of my favorite things about Portland. So this is a pretty big deal to me.

So the giveaway over at Suvudu has officially started, and you can enter by leaving a comment there to win free copies of the book and other prizes! But that’s not all: For the next five days, they’ll also be posting modified short excerpts from the book. They’re not full chapters or anything, but they’ll definitely give you a sense of what it’s all about. The first of those is up today, and it’s about sterility.

That’s right: The end of the world may start in your balls.

I’m sure most of you are actually coming from there, but for those of you who have stumbled across this site at random – probably by typing ominously worded death threats into Google Search – there’s a sample chapter for the book up at Cracked! Go here to read all about the bacteria that almost gave you unlimited free liquor! Oh, and also would’ve killed your entire family. But free liquor! If you’re feeling so inclined and like what you see, you can Digg that article right here.

Also, at last check the book was #281 on Amazon! That’s friggin’ awesome. Thanks, you guys! I hope you all like it when you get it, or that you at least get some sort of crippling disease that prevents you from telling anybody that you didn’t like it.

But people are already getting it now!

A lot of people have had it for a while, and more seem to be getting it daily. If you’ve received a copy in advance, feel free to leave a comment here. Tell us which retailer you used and what region you’re in; I’m hoping to assemble some sort of release-breaking algorithm that will net us all free books, money, and possibly women or at least some sort of book-based superpowers.

My plan is ill-defined, as you can see, and that’s why you should help!

If you haven’t pre-ordered it, just click on any of those buttons up above to get your copy. Only attractive people are allowed to purchase copies, however. But you can’t tell if you’re one of them until you hit ‘check out.’ Owning a copy of Everything is Going to Kill Everybody is like a portable symbol that tells everybody yes, you are officially considered aesthetically pleasing. It’s a Sex Badge!

Also feel free to post first impressions for people coming here that may still be on the fence. I am assuming these will be positive impressions, because the book is just so, so awesome.

You guys, really: Awesome.